Jeff Dunham's 'Merry Frickin Christmas'
by SamApeace
Summary: Here's a late Christmas present from me! This one is based on Jeff Dunham's puppets. I do not own Jeff Dunham nor Merry Frickin Christmas.Theres about 1,050 words in this third song fic. Enjoy! I should note,one of the characters cusses.One shot!


**I meant to publish this on Christmas, but we were watching the new Spider-man movie and Brave.**

**Here's a late christmas present from me.**

**I hoped you enjoyed my Disney one that I published on christmas.**

**But,this is another version,it's based on Jeff Dunham and his puppets.**

**I don't own Jeff Dunham nor 'Merry Merry Merry Frikin Christmas'. Enjoy!**

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Jeff's POV

"Walter, it's almost time for the party to start and Achmed is late...AGAIN!"

"Whats taking him so long?,"-I asked Walter.

"Maybe he was eaten by dogs when he went to buy a new chew toy for your chihuahua at PetSmart,"-said Walter.

"This is gonna be along day,"-I thought.

"I should put on some music,"-I told Walter.

I switch channel to channel on the radio, but nothing good wasn't playing; until the guy announced a new song called 'Merry merry merry Frikin Christmas' by Frickin' A.

**School's out!**

**Christmas Break!**

**home for the holidays,**

**eating up the fruitcake**

"This sounds kind of good,"-I said as I was barely putting the turkey in the oven, as I kept on wondering where Achmed was and why is he late?

Achmed's POV

"Help me!,"-I shouted as a chihuahua and husky were chasing me through out the pet store.

"Where's Jeff when I need him?,"-I thought.

**Off to grandmas,its so boring**

**(mom)**

**Screaming kids,**

**and grandpas snoring.**

**My aunt Margaret's lost her mind,**

**trippin on a train set;**

**having another box of wine.**

Walter's POV

"Oh great,just want I need. Peanut drinking a Starbucks, and Bubba J watching Nascar and drinking beer,"-I said to myself.

"Peanut!,"I shouted,"get yo lazy fuzzy butt off the couch and decorate."

"Why should I?,"-he asked as his high coffee voice shouted.

"Because I said so,damn it!,"-I yelled.

"Geez,man you have to go gangster on me,"-replied Peanut in a very upset yet high voice.

**It's gonna be a merry,merry,merry Frickin Christmas!**

**i must be on Santa Clause's shhh list,**

**the tree,the gifts,the mistletoe kiss.**

**Shoot me now!**

**Im sick of all my relatives(relatives).**

**Have a merry,merry,merry Frickin Christmas.**

Peanut's POV

I was just getting some of the decorations as I heard Bubba J trying to open another can of beer.

"Open already!,"-he commanded to the can.

"Bubba J,it's just a can,not a dog!,"-I yelled.

"You're a weirdo Peanut,"-his drunk voice told me.

"No I'm not!,"-I shouted.

**Uncle Richard,he's a weirdo,**

**who's passing out pictures of himself in a speedo.**

**My cousin Ashley,her singing really sucks!**

**She blames it on her drummer and her acid reflux.**

**My brothers wife is really hot!**

**She put me in the bathroom,I hope we don't caught.**

Achmed's POV

"Oh god,"I thought,"where's my Jeff?"

Then a nice woman asked me if I needed help. I told her that those dogs were chasing me,and that I needed a present for Jeff's chihuahua.

She grabbed the dogs and helped me up. She led me to the chew toy section and I picked out a new bone and ball for Jeff's dog.

"Thank you nice lady,"-I told her before I got into the Achmed mobile.

"You're welcome Achmed,"-she replied back.

**It's gonna be a merry,merry,merry Frickin Christmas!**

**I must be on Santa Clause's shhh list,**

**the tree,the gifts,the mistletoe kiss.**

**Shoot me now!**

**Im sick of all my relatives(relatives).**

**Have a merry,merry,merry Frickin Christmas.**

Bubba J's POV

I was just finishing my beer,when I heard Peanut and Walter arguing.

"Peanut,stop that!,"-Walter shouted.

"No you stop that!,"-yelled back Peanut.

"What's going on?,"-I asked curiously.

"Bubba J,just stay out of this!,"-the two of them yelled.

Jeff came running in and pulled Walter and Peanut away from each other. He asked them what was happening,and Walter told him that Peanut stole his new ties and sold them on Ebay.

"Peanut,"he began," did you steal his ties and sold them on Ebay and wrote them down on a dating site?"

"Yeah,I did,"-Peanut replied back.

"Peanut,why on Earth would you so that?,"-Jeff asked.

"Because I wanted to,so that I learn to do that the day after Christmas,Jeffa-fa,"-said Peanut.

I just got out of the room when I heard the doorbell ring. Jeff quickly ran up to the door,and there was Achmed.

**We haven't even opened our presents yet,**

**now it's time to start.**

**So I'll fake a smile,cause its going back to Walmart!**

**(Knock,knock)**

**Sweetie,are you okay in there?**

**Ohhhh.**

****Normal POV

"Achmed,what took you so long?,"-Jeff asked.

"I was attacked by dogs and a nice lady helped me out of there,"-replied Achmed.

"Hello father,your back,"-said A.J.,Achmed's son.

"There you are A.J.,"-said Achmed.

"Father,did you get my christmas present?"

"What present?,"-asked Achmed.

"You know my One Direction magazine and CD,"-said A.J.

"Oh yes I got that as well,Merry Christmas my son,"-said Achmed.

Achmed gave A.J. his gift and he sat on a chair and looked at Harry and Liam.

"Oh my,Liam has a nice body,but Harry's figure is better,"-said A.J.

"Shut up!,"-yelled Achmed.

**It's gonna be a merry,merry,merry Frickin Christmas!**

**I must be on Santa Clause's shhh list,**

**the tree,the gifts,the mistletoe kiss.**

**Shoot me now!**

**(BANG)**

**Im sick of all my relatives(relatives).**

**Have a merry,merry,merry Frickin Christmas**

****Just then everyone heard knocks on the door,and Jeff opened it. The guests were his three daughters,his managers,his parents,his fiancé,and a few comedians:Gabriel Iglesias,Jay Johnson,Jimmy Nelson,George Lopez,and Chris Tucker.

"Merry Christmas,Jeff,"-everyone shouted.

**Merry Frickin Christmas!**

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**So what do you guys think of this one?**

**Did you like the Disney one or this one?**

**R&R,but no bad flames please!**


End file.
